How Often Do You Get Laid Thanks to Your IF?

I haven’t posted in awhile, and I’m going to cheat a bit and hand the bulk of this blog over to someone else. I found this on the newsgroup (known to those familiar with it as raif). You can access newgroups through certain email programs like Outlook, or through Google Groups.

This post was in response to an attack on Adam Cadre. It made no apparent sense, seemed spawned from jealousy, and asked the question, “How often do you get laid thanks to your IF?” The post (which I will NOT reprint here) depicted IF authors as being rather unattractive and unwanted as a partner. I thought the reply below was very well said. I don’t know if the author wants their name revealed, but my thanks goes to you, if you’ve written this:

 Because a professional appreciator contributes nothing to the world.

The only way we can positively affect the world is to add to it. As I often tell people, if you want to really live, put something out there. Don’t just read a book. Passively taking in input does nothing. You must output something. Even if that something adds nothing to the world other than affecting how someone else looks at it. At least you are then contributing. Someone who hides in his room and reads every book ever written does nothing to add to life on this planet.

So we put something out there. Some of us write IF. Some of us do much more. Some of us write fiction, poetry, computer games, photograph things, write comics, cartoons, and photo stories. Some of us put that out there either on a personal web page, or in a magazine, or on our computers.

But we don’t do it “to get laid”. Not everything can achieve that, nor
should that be the only goal in life.

Hedonism may be fun, but it doesn’t affect anyone but yourself.

Affect someone else.

Do something.

Put something out there.

It’s the only reason we are here.

I think the last sentence is untrue, as well as the fact that creating something is the only way to contribute something. What about the social worker who saves lives? What about the police officer who apprehends a criminal? Those people also contribute to the world, but yes, I would like to add something – to create. That’s my thing, though I greatly appreciate the social workers and police officers (among others) of the world.

On a funny note, anyone familiar with playing IF will find this brilliant. It’s a response in the same thread:

>>I only get laid thanks to Adam Thornton’s IF. 😦

> Wow. Can you tell me the trick to that? It never works for me.

Have you tried “Want to come upstairs and see my interactive fiction?”

Yeah, she said “I only understood you as far as wanting to come.”

Which initially seemed pretty promising, but turned out to just be a
parser error.


9 Responses to How Often Do You Get Laid Thanks to Your IF?

  1. Adam Cadre says:

    Yeah, I’ve pointed out a couple of times on my site that Jacek’s jibes that IF never got anyone laid ring especially hollow given that I can name at least eight couples who met through their involvement in IF. (I’ve been in two myself.)

    • amethystgames says:

      Thanks for the comment, Adam! I must say, I never expected to get a comment from you. I know you probably always get this question, but are you ever going to give us another cool piece of IF?

  2. Tracy Poff says:

    While I appreciate (ha!) the point, I don’t quite agree. Being a professional appreciator *enriches me*. Each book I read and each game I play changes me, so that every single interaction I have with anyone, even if unrelated to all the games I’ve played or books I’ve read, is due in part to my appreciation of those books and games.

    So, yes, creators contribute by creating, but I think that the appreciators also contribute by appreciating, even silently.

  3. Jimmy Maher says:

    Wow! That’s really, really great stuff. One of the most inspiring things I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for posting it.

    I would say that a “professional appreciator” can add “stuff” to the world, though, simply by writing reviews, etc. Roger Ebert is a “professional appreciator” who has had a huge influence on the film industry, for instance. All of the people who contribute to IFDB, SPAG, IF Review, etc., also perform a vital function for the community that is in its own way every bit as important as actual IF authorship.

    As for getting laid… I would say that if you are choosing your hobbies based on what is likely to get you laid, you’re — I don’t don’t know how to put this more delicately — well, rather pathetic. I would sort of have to put you in the same category as the men posting creepy ads for female “friends” in totally inappropriate locations on Craigslist. But hey, I guess we can’t all be charming enough to succeed in the game of love on our personal merits. 🙂

    • amethystgames says:

      Jimmy, I very much agree with you and Tracy as far as the role of the appreciator. Without someone to enjoy what you’ve created, then what’s the point?

      I do adore the idea of leaving something behind in this world that may persevere after you’ve departed. It may be a long shot to achieve immortality with IF, but who knows, right?

  4. Daphne B. says:

    Yeah, that’s not a real blog either, it’s an auto-generated thingy that basically just links a lot of random stuff. So I wouldn’t sweat it. 😉

  5. Paul says:

    I was writing a lot of IF around the time I was dating my last girlfriend. She seemed curious about it, so I told her I’d write her a quick game to show her what it was all about.

    She broke up with me the day I finished that game.


    • amethystgames says:

      Hi Paul!

      It sounds like you need a cooler girlfriend (or a geekier one, depending on your perspective). Mine has played my game quite a bit (internal beta testing!), but she quickly got tired of it. Thankfully, we’re still together.

      I’m sorry for your bad experience, and hopefully it hasn’t turned you off writing IF.

  6. amethystgames says:

    Ummm… this is my only post on this topic. Might you be a spam-bot?

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